Sunday, 5 October 2014

Pretty or Ugly?

This concept was swimming around my head at 3am, consuming my mind for a while there.

I finished a book called The List by Siobhan Vivian, and it was a good book.  It's about a high school with an annual tradition.  Every year an anonymous list is printed, listing eight girls, two from each grade.  One is announced as the prettiest, and one as the ugliest.  I know this sounds completely shallow and stupid, but despite the extremities and the deluded reasoning, everything was so so true.  All the different types of girls with their different points of views and intentions, it conveyed how we all think and feel and how we view beauty.

There's two sisters.  One is smart but thinks she's ugly.  The other is pretty but thinks she's dumb.  The book still ends that way.  She still thinks she's ugly.  She still thinks she's dumb. Because that's how insecurities are.  They hardly ever go away, even if they aren't true.  The funny thing is, that both girls are a little envious of each other.  They don't think the other is ugly or dumb at all.  They don't see that flaw because it's not there.



Then there's another girl.  The list calls her ugly.  The list calls her a man.  So what does her boyfriend think?  He's embarrassed of course.  He doesn't know what to do.  He makes her feel ugly.  And when people don't make you feel beautiful anymore, when they don't make your life better anymore, it's time to let them go, no matter how hard or sad you will feel.

There's a home-schooled girl, new to society.  When she suddenly feels like she belongs, like she has friends, she wants to keep them.  It doesn't matter that her mom is unhappy.  She wants to belong to the group.  She's nice and clueless, but all her "friends" start to find her weird.  She doesn't really belong.  They don't even care.



And what about the mean girl?  She's only mean because she's beautiful on the outside.  She can get away with it.  Until she's tossed out because she's ugly on the inside.  Replaced by the home-schooled loser.  What does this do to her inner ugliness?  Sometimes being alone sets your priorities straight.  Even when your "friends" come back for you, sometimes it's better to turn away and be beautiful on the inside, as well as the outside.

Then there's the girl that tries to be ugly.  She's making a statement.  She's dissing her past where she tried to fit in but never could.  But nobody cares about her statement.  It's expected.  She's not important.  Nobody cares.  Except for that one somebody.  Sometimes you need to appreciate the people already in your life, who do notice and care for you, who think you're beautiful.  Nobody else's opinion matters.  They are too self-focused, probably never forming one anyway.

What happens when you're not good enough?  You'll never be skinny enough, even when you look like a skeleton.  You'll always be ugly, no matter how many people tell you you're beautiful.  You'll never be like the perfect glossy girls in the magazines.



And then there's the ex-best friends.  The pretty girl ditches the ugly girl, but did she do it for a good reason?  The ugly girl made her feel so ugly.  The ugly girl was ugly.  The ugly girl read her diary.  The ugly girl knew what she was doing.  The ugly girl wrote the list.  One girl was supposedly too busy flaunting her boyfriend, one was full of crap, one was used to teach her uppity sister a lesson.  But what does the ugly girl know?  What gives her the right to call all these people out?  And the truth is, the ugly girl just wants to be liked.  She's desperate for it.  She's not making a statement.  She's still trying to fit in. 

The pretty girl is desperate to be liked too.  She cares so so much about what people think of her.  They define her beauty.  Their opinions count.  She must look the part for them.  She must wear the sophisticated dress to show she's above high school.  And when she decides to end the list, it's mostly for herself, because she's selfish.

Now scroll up and string the bold words together to make a sentence, because it's true.  Hardly anyone cares enough to view you as beautiful or ugly.  Everyone is too busy assessing themselves.  Everyone's intentions are selfish.  They want to make their life better, they want to make a statement to get people to notice them, they want to belong, they want to be prettier.  And it's funny how so many people view their own beauty on how other people think of them, because the truth is, nobody really realises whether you're beautiful or ugly.  They're not actually thinking about you at all.

So if you think you're ugly, you are.  You're the only one that thinks so, but nobody else has really formed an opinion either.  And if you think you're pretty, you are.  It's your opinion that counts.


 
Now here's a very true quote I found in the book:

"That's how inside jokes usually are...Funny to those inside, annoying as shit to the rest of the world."

Love,
M

43 comments:

  1. Aww M! ♥
    This is so well written!:)
    I love how you explained to us the plot line of the novel while stating your own views and opinions!
    I totally agree with every thing you mentioned here:)
    Thank you for this wonderful post!

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    1. Aw thanks June!! That means so much xx

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  2. This was so sweet! I've read lots of similar posts recently but yours was definitely among the best ones; I love that you explained the plot of the book and added your own little 'twists' to make it more than just a book review. I agree with everything you've written! <3
    Cloudy Dreams

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    1. Thanks so much!! I'm glad you do <3

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  3. Really well written!

    Vannieann.blogspot.com

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  4. This is so well written! Great post!

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    1. Thanks Jollygirl! Keep up the well written work on your blog too ;)

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  5. wow. just absolutely wow. I have never read something so true or so well written. M, that was so true!! I think you just pointed to every girl that it is their opinion that is the most important.
    I loved the post, M. Great job!
    Love,
    Miss H

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    1. Thanks so much!!! I'm glad you liked it and agree with me <3

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  6. Thanks for the lovely comment on my blog! I followed you back via GFC and I can't wait for your new post :)

    Love,Sara Wallflower

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    1. No problem! Thanks for your's. Can't wait for your next post too

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  7. Love your blog! I just followed you on GFC and Bloglovin, would you please follow me back? :)
    Michaella from http://quitealooker.blogspot.com/

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    1. Thanks! I'm checking out your blog now ;)

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  8. This is so well written and put together! You should definitely be proud of this post!! Think I definitely need to have a read of this book!
    Tara x

    http://lovetarababii.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Thanks! You definitely should!!

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  9. Thx for your comment! I follow via GFC, and hope you will follow back :)

    www.sophias-fashion.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks so much! I love your blog so I'd be happy to xx

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  10. That was so good-written post I want to read that book now. And it's very interesting even though I think that not every thought you expressed is true. However it gave me a lot of things to think of.
    Thanks ^_^
    Xxx, Carade
    car-ade.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks! You should! And yeah, not everybody will agree, but I'm glad you'll have some stuff to think about. xx

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  11. I really want to read the book now! I love your blog! :) X

    http://annalouisenicholls.blogspot.co.uk

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  12. thanks for commenting on my blog! I'm also following you on GFC and bloglovin!

    www.theclosetcrush.com

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    1. No problem! Thanks! I'm following you too :)

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  13. Follow you back on gfc. ;-)
    Lovely greets Nessa

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  14. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  15. Amazing!
    Your blog makes me want to read that book now ! :D

    P.S.
    I am new at blogging. I could use your support :)
    http://this-is-it-sg.blogspot.in

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    1. Thanks! You definitely should! I'm checking out your blog right now xx

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  16. Really beautiful and thoughtful blog post!
    So glad I came across it :)

    maybe check out my blog if you have time? xx
    elslittleutopia.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks so much! I'm glad you did too. I'd love t check out your blog ;)

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  17. You are totally right. Usually everyone else's opinion of you is only based on what they think of themselves and how their treatment of you can get them to the security or status that they want. These people don't take the time to really get to know you or care.

    Only the people who honestly care will actually take the time to get to know you. Those people will have an honest opinion about you. And since they truly do care, they might recognize your flaws, but that won't matter to them. As long as you are you.

    There are so few in people who actually take time to get to know others though.

    It's best to be yourself. Your opinion of you is what matters. And you can't compare yourself with others, because you're not them. You have to hold yourself accountable to your own standards. Only you can be you. You're a once-in-a-lifetime person; don't deprive the world of that.

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    1. Omigosh. :') This comment is a post in it's own. I wish I could've written that. I'm definitely checking out your blog right now if you have one.

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  18. Beautiful thoughts ! And you have awesome blog :))

    xx,Sonja

    www.passionhere.blogspot.fi

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    1. Thanks Sonja! You have an awesome blog too :))

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  19. What a phenomenal post. I now really really want and have to read this book. I hate how girls get the impression that they have to be picture perfect, like the girls in magazines... especially when the girls on magazines, to some extent, aren't even real. I wish we could just embrace our inner confidence, the confidence that says "I'm beautiful, no matter what". It is there, in that confidence admitted to us by our own selves, that we find true beauty.

    On a separate note-- I'm so glad I found your blog (: (Thanks for commenting btw!!) I really enjoy the topics you post about and how honest and genuine you are-- so many (if not all!) of your posts are so indeed relatable. Don't stop doing what you're doing! I know you just started in the blogging scene but MAN you are doing a great job (:
    xoxo
    Steph

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    1. Thanks so much Steph! You should definitely read this book. The girls in the media and magazines really are influencing many girls in a bad way, and we all need some self confidence. So I completely agree. Thanks again for your lovely compliments! I love your blog too <3

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  20. great post:)! please visit me in free time:) http://mesmerize87.blogspot.com/

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  21. M, this post is so beautifully written and true! That sounds like such and interesting book, i might have to try it out :)

    With Love, Elizabeth
    http://whimsicalthoughtss.blogspot.com/

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    1. Thanks so much. And yess you should try reading it ;)

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  22. I couldn't agree with the last quote you have there. The List is on my TBR and I really can't wait to read it. It sounds good, but more so it sounds meaningful and like an eye opener. I think we might be needing more of those round here :3

    http://olivia-savannah.blogspot.nl/2014/10/the-seven-deadly-sins-tag.html

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    1. I agree with the last quote, but at the same time I do love inside jokes (when I'm in on them) so there's not much you can do there. And yes! You should definitely read it. It definitely opened my eyes and changed a few of the ways I view things a little.

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